Since then....
26th the September, 2006
It’s the day I got my train homewards…and I get this feeling that maybe I should wait. I shouldn’t be waiting at all actually..but it suddenly feels like it won’t be right to go to her home right now. I was like trying to imagine being there. Its festive time and its the first time shes going to be home. Am sure that she’ll be very composed about me but still get that feeling that things are still fresh. I think I know why I want to meet her. I want to see her surrender in my presence. Give me the feel that in her dreams she always wanted to be with me. She surely never will. Infact she must already be in love with that lucky bastard. I hope she is.
I was thinking of a name for the world where the very happy myself is going to live…where I’ll still be craving to learn to play the guitar and would still hold that dream to buy a Contessa…where the guitar would eventually lead us to a drive from her home to mine…where I’ll still believe in catching falling leaves or spotting a lonely star..where I’ll still talk to the moon..and where I’ll still pick flowers and write letters. I’ve changed a good deal since the last time I kissed my black and white girlfriend…and I haven’t heard ‘Unchained Melody’ since then.
Everytime I do something that I haven’t done SINCE THEN..it strikes my mind the fact that it was a different world, the last time I did this…be it listening to some song..going to the railway station to get my reservation done…even wearing a shirt that I hadn’t worn since then. A lot of these ‘since then’ activities are still to com. The most prominent one I foresee and already feel about is that for the first time, I’ll be going to Nepal without planning and hoping to win her heart. I used to enjoy the railway struggle. I call it a struggle because most times I don’t have a reservation for a 20 hour journey. At times I didn’t even possess a ticket. This time too I only have a ticket and though I’m going home mostly for her (for me) but I still don’t see that I’ll enjoy the struggle this time. I find it hard to imagine myself talking to her. I aren’t prepared. My weird friend had asked me what I’d say to her and I replied that I wouldn’t have to start…she would and then I’d find things to say to her. I aren’t really as confident as I thought I was. Infact I now fear I might go home and return without making any effort for this meet that I am going home for.
It’s the day I got my train homewards…and I get this feeling that maybe I should wait. I shouldn’t be waiting at all actually..but it suddenly feels like it won’t be right to go to her home right now. I was like trying to imagine being there. Its festive time and its the first time shes going to be home. Am sure that she’ll be very composed about me but still get that feeling that things are still fresh. I think I know why I want to meet her. I want to see her surrender in my presence. Give me the feel that in her dreams she always wanted to be with me. She surely never will. Infact she must already be in love with that lucky bastard. I hope she is.
I was thinking of a name for the world where the very happy myself is going to live…where I’ll still be craving to learn to play the guitar and would still hold that dream to buy a Contessa…where the guitar would eventually lead us to a drive from her home to mine…where I’ll still believe in catching falling leaves or spotting a lonely star..where I’ll still talk to the moon..and where I’ll still pick flowers and write letters. I’ve changed a good deal since the last time I kissed my black and white girlfriend…and I haven’t heard ‘Unchained Melody’ since then.
Everytime I do something that I haven’t done SINCE THEN..it strikes my mind the fact that it was a different world, the last time I did this…be it listening to some song..going to the railway station to get my reservation done…even wearing a shirt that I hadn’t worn since then. A lot of these ‘since then’ activities are still to com. The most prominent one I foresee and already feel about is that for the first time, I’ll be going to Nepal without planning and hoping to win her heart. I used to enjoy the railway struggle. I call it a struggle because most times I don’t have a reservation for a 20 hour journey. At times I didn’t even possess a ticket. This time too I only have a ticket and though I’m going home mostly for her (for me) but I still don’t see that I’ll enjoy the struggle this time. I find it hard to imagine myself talking to her. I aren’t prepared. My weird friend had asked me what I’d say to her and I replied that I wouldn’t have to start…she would and then I’d find things to say to her. I aren’t really as confident as I thought I was. Infact I now fear I might go home and return without making any effort for this meet that I am going home for.
posted by Runit Saria at 3:41 PM
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